Learning to Be Bigger Than Your Big Feelings

There's something I want you to know about the work we do together, about what becomes possible when you learn to be with the full range of what arises in your life.

It's not about making the difficult feelings go away. It's not about reaching some mythical place where you no longer feel afraid when you're about to make a big change, or anxious when you're stepping toward what matters most, or heartbroken when you're ending something that no longer serves you.

That would just be a numb, disconnected life. And you're here for so much more than that.

The Captain of Your Own Ship

What we're cultivating together is your capacity to be with whatever shows up—all of it. The fear that rises when you dare to dream bigger. The grief that comes with letting go. The overwhelm that accompanies real change. The excitement that feels too big to trust.

Think of it like learning to be the captain of your own ship while honoring every voice on board.

Your feelings—they're not the enemy. They're not obstacles to overcome or problems to solve. They're messengers, crew members, parts of you that have important information. But they don't get to helm the ship.

You do.

You get to listen to the fear when it whispers warnings about that career change you've been considering. You get to feel the excitement fully when you imagine what could be possible. You get to acknowledge the sadness that comes with outgrowing old dreams. And then you get to choose—with all of this information, with all of these voices heard—what action to take, if any.

The Myth of the Healing Destination

Here's what I've learned: there is no healing point where you don't have big feelings anymore. There's no destination where you arrive fully healed, completely confident, perpetually calm.

Life continues to move us. Important things continue to matter. Love continues to ask everything of us. Growth continues to require letting go of who we used to be.

The goal isn't to become someone who doesn't feel deeply. The goal is to become someone who can feel deeply and still stay centered in herself. Someone whose embrace is wider than whatever is asking to be held.

When Difficulty is the Path, Not a Detour

Often, when we find ourselves agonizing over a big decision we may say to ourselves, "This shouldn't be so hard. If it were the right decision, wouldn't it feel easier?"

But what if the difficulty isn't a sign you're on the wrong path? What if it's a sign you're on the right one—the one that matters enough to ask everything of you?

Consider birth. No one expects it to be easy or painless or gentle. We understand that the intensity, the overwhelming nature of it, the way it asks every part of you to participate—that's not a mistake. That's how new life comes into the world.

When you feel that gut-wrenching, breath-taking intensity around something that matters to you—starting the business, leaving the relationship, moving across the country, having the difficult conversation—what if that's not a detour from your path? What if that is the path?

The tumult you feel when you're growing toward what matters isn't wrong. It's the birth canal. It's how you become who you need to be to live the life you're being called toward.

Learning to Ride the Waves

This doesn't mean you have to white-knuckle your way through every difficult feeling. It means learning to be in relationship with them differently.

Instead of asking, "How do I make this feeling go away?" you might ask, "What is this feeling trying to tell me? What does it need from me right now? How can I be with this without letting it take over?"

Sometimes the wisdom in the feeling is clear: the anxiety is pointing toward something that needs attention, the anger is highlighting a boundary that's been crossed, the sadness is honoring what's being released.

Other times, the feeling just needs to run around and scare and exhaust itself before settling. Like a storm that has to blow through. Your job isn't to stop the storm, but to find the steady place within you that can weather it.

The Practice of Getting Bigger

This capacity to be bigger than what arises—it's not something you're born with or without. It's something you cultivate. It's a practice, like learning to play an instrument or tend a garden.

Some days you'll feel steady and spacious, able to hold whatever comes with grace. Other days you'll feel small and reactive, swept away by the first wave of emotion. Both are part of the process.

The invitation is to keep practicing. Keep returning to that place within you that can embrace all that arises. Keep learning to be the loving presence that can hold your own experience without being consumed by it.

An Invitation to Trust

If you're in the middle of something difficult right now—if you're feeling the intensity that comes with growth, with change, with moving toward what matters—I want to offer you this:

Trust it. Trust that the difficulty isn't evidence you're doing something wrong. Trust that your capacity to be with hard things is exactly what's needed right now. Trust that you're not being asked to carry more than you can handle, even when it feels that way.

Trust that learning to be bigger than your big feelings isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming more fully yourself—the version of you who can feel everything and still choose consciously, love deeply and still maintain boundaries, dream boldly and still move with wisdom.

This is the work. This is the path. And you don't have to walk it alone.

What's one big feeling that's been asking for your attention lately? How might you practice being in relationship with it rather than trying to make it go away?

Ready to cultivate your capacity to be with whatever arises? If this resonates with you and you're feeling called to develop this deeper relationship with yourself, I'd love to support you in this work. Whether you're navigating a major life transition, feeling overwhelmed by big emotions, or simply ready to trust yourself more fully, you don't have to figure it out alone. Reach out here to explore how we might work together to help you become bigger than whatever you're facing.